Success or failure? The unanimous answer to the question undoubtedly is success as no one wants to lose. But in reality, what describes your journey called life are the number of failures and setbacks you have experienced. Give a second thought to the idea of winning and you will understand that it is your desire to win which is forcing you to live a life of a failure full of setbacks. And until and unless you give up this desire you shall continue to do so. The moment the desire is dropped there is no defeat and you emerge as a winner.
To understand this better, visualise the moment when a father feels happy and takes pride in his defeat against his son when they are playing together. Happiness here comes with a willingness to accept the defeat or in other words in the absence of a desire for victory! Had it been someone other than his son, the defeat would have been extremely painful & humiliating because then there would have been a strong desire to win. Humiliation appears to be humiliation only in the presence of a desire for honour. If there is no desire for honour then nothing or no one can make you feel dishonoured.
A Sanyasi or a seeker finds happiness in small trivial things because he is filled with gratitude for every little thing in life accepting them as a gift from god. On the other hand, a worldly person is always dissatisfied & constantly complaining because his focus is on that which is missing. Feeling of being poor or deprived will not arise until there is a madness to be rich because the feeling of deprivation is only in the absence of something missing. If you desire for 100 million & you happen to get 10 million, the thought of not having 90 million will not let you enjoy the 10 million you have. Even that 10 million will appear to be insufficient because of the desire for 90 million. On the contrary if there is no desire for money, even a very small amount seems to be enough & satisfying.
Desires are never ending. Therefore, more one has less it seems. When one desire is fulfilled another desire emerges taking a higher, longer leap than before leaving us crying, cribbing and more bitter. The only way to put an end to this hue and cry will depend completely on you. Until you learn to live in acceptance, in total surrender. Accepting defeat means living without a desire to win, with a belief that there is only one Supreme being, bowing down & surrendering to that sole Divine Providence. Then there is no one to overcome, no one to defeat or knock down because then there is no other.
Love wins in surrender and the one who loses in love, wins. If your aim is to win through ego, be sure to be defeated. Every victory of the ego will lead to a defeat whereas every defeat in love will lead to a new gateway to victory.
The basis of a spiritual life starts with an understanding of this very fundamental point that nothing & no one is a stranger here. The trees, the stars, the moon, the sun, the animals & the birds all belong to you and you belong to them. They are all an expansion of your being. Just as two waves of the sea fight against each other because they fail to recall that they both are a part of the same sea or if the left hand pits itself against the right hand where is the question of victory or loss because both the hands belong to your body. Experiencing the other as the self because there is no other leads to surrender.
Try to be one with the universe and you will experience that whatever is outside you is also within you. There is a bridge that connects you to the vastness of the divine realm. Separated, you cannot survive even for a moment. Set yourself aside, eliminate your ego so that you no longer remain and then no one will be in a position to eliminate you, not even death. It is only your ego that leads you to defeat or failures and that brings dishonour or insults. What you think as nectar actually works as poison that makes you cry. If you wish to change crying into smile you need to bring a shift to your thinking by opening the doors of your mind and see that all is one and one is all. This affirmation is true religion that shall change your life from a bed of thorns to a bed of flowers.